I enjoy a good long swim after a workout session at the gym. But what I enjoy even more is when I teach someone how to swim. Especially someone who is terrified of water. Normally its about 4 classes, each 3 hours long. It starts off from the point where someone is barely comfortable standing at the 3 foot deep end and at the end of the 4th day being able to swim or bob up and down in the 15 foot end of the pool and diving into it.
The person learning it is ofcourse thrilled and delighted but I cant describe the level of thrill I feel seeing the transition from this to that.
This journey with a pupil from complete lack of confidence and fear to being able to actually acheive their dream is treasure trove of experiences in how to manage or coach a team member or a team. The most important thing a manager or coach has to have is confidence in themselves and second most important thing is patience and the third most important thing is respect for the person learning… especially to be able to respect a “no”. Never push. The more open you are as a leader to hearing a no the more you can actually lead and inspire your team. I can confirm this also from my experiences as the President of a non profit organization. But those experiences I’ll write in another blog post… actually I am writing a book and will hopefully get it done by this summer. In addition to all this, its got to be fun. Smiles, celebrating small successes, helping them also see and feel great about their small successes… by george! Its like you just gave them a double-shot espresso of motivation.
Of the three styles of management – management by incentive, management by threats or management by motivation the most difficult to accomplish is the last one and it is also the most rewarding both for the team and the leader. In either of the above two cases (teaching swimming or leading a non profit organization), the only real option available for the leader/teacher is management by motivation. Knowing when to guide, when to motivate, when to push gently and when to step back and say… “hey you go get your dream and I’ll stand here and clap”. I feel the challenge is more on the performance of the leader/teacher rather than on the team/student.
But what about the student or the team? What are their challenges? Is it skill? Knowledge? No. All these things can be acquired. The single most difficult block to overcome in all cases is fear. To be able to say “I can” is the biggest challenge. Not whether they actually can… but to just get them to beleive that they most likely can…. and they will. Whether you are heading a project at a software company, or teaching someone to teach swimming or heading a non profit organization or organizing a music concert with a huge investment… the most important thing is to help your team overcome self doubt and fear. In the summer of 2010 I taught both my parents how to swim. They accomplished this at the age of 70 and 65 respectively. Beleif, patience, respect, understanding… these carry you a long way.
Ok so thats a great strategy but tactically how do you accomplish it? What are the details? Its very simple. Let me give you an analogy. In most cases like this I see that when you have to climb 3600 steps people focus on the 100th step or the 1000th step. They forget that its the first step and the second and the third and so on that are more critical. Once you get to the 20th step the confidence is already rising. By the time you get to the 50th step the “I can” attitude is taking root. By the time you get to the 100th step its on cruise control. Its raring to go… you actually have to probably rein in the horse to conserve its energy for the long haul and to endure. But the fact is …the moment you give them a taste of success, you just have to sit back and relax and let their hunger to acheive more manifest itself in their drive and determination. All you have to do is fine tune, ask questions and facilitate.
Leadership is really about helping your team succeed and reach their goals individually and collectively.